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December 5, 1960

Darling Kay,

I did think my “goof” in regards to your address rather humorous. I once addressed a letter to you using your name and my complete address, but I noticed the mistake as soon as I had finished addressing the envelope. I always check the address before I drop it in the mailbox. I must have been in real fine shape. But you got the letter fortunately.

Some people who can go out and buy all the clothes they want have it nice. If I didn’t go window shopping once in a while, I’d forget what the inside of a clothing store looked like. Actually, it’s not quite that bad, but there are many, many little $50 – $100 items which must be passed up. I have expensive taste.

That seems expensive to me but I mostly shop at Target? Like I don’t have “little” $100 items except shoes. I like my Danskos.

However, I can think of no one more fitting to honor the purchases than by wearing the purchases for the people they were bought by. It’s not every business that can revel in the pleasure of having you wear their wares. I also imagine trying on clothes is a form of “work” which you find somewhat enjoyable, no?

WTF IS HE TALKING ABOUT? He bought her something? She got some clothing gifts or gift certificates? IDK.

Certain people are going to develop all varieties of heretofore unknown neuroses and psychoses as a result of my pinning you.

THEY GOT PINNED AT THANKSGIVING.

Takes all kind to make a world. Let ‘em wonder. Give out no information regarding us, which may conceivably find its way into the waiting arms of the A__ Coalition.

Karen still dealing with mean girl Ellen?

RE: Beverly K. Information relevant to her is included in the letter before this one. Probably the only thing of any interest whatsoever in the whole letter.

Probably.

Incidentally, she’s having her wisdom teeth extracted due to an infection. (Wisdom teeth never do last long. Probably an indication of the foibles of our civilization.)

What.

She was also given solemn orders by her doctor to refrain from the tempting vice — food. So right away she wants miracle treatments which will not work no matter how effective. She’s having trouble with the blood pressure. Actually, she’s probably told you all this by now since she did go home. She and Rosemary are getting on better.

Too bad. I much preferred horror show Rosemary.

Not having seen or asked about Elaine, I am unable to satisfy your curiosity. However, it’s relatively safe to assume Elaine thinks this is really it. Really what she wants. After she gets him, she may not be so happy, but she will be deservant of little sympathy. Obviously, she doesn’t belong at college, especially a co-educational one.

ELAINE HAS NO CHILL AROUND BOYS. So, Russ thinks Elaine shouldn’t be at a co-educational college because Elaine didn’t wait to get engaged until after graduation, like a decent young woman. 

Her progress we may know in approx. 270 days. Enough talk about the “folly of the younger generation.”

HEY NOW. He’s saying she’s pregnant. And also that he’s somehow a whole generation older than she?

Snow seems to be a dream appropriate only in Wonderland. Especially after the demonstration Sunday. It rained today, all day. A fine rain most of the time, not even qualifying as a drizzle, — just sort of a constant heavy dew, which is the most miserable variety of weather. Cold and damp. Just what is so unreasonable about snow in the wintertime. I remember trudging through 4-6 foot drifts on the way to grammar schools, when 2-3 feet of snow covered the ground almost all the time.

That’s some pre-climate change winter in Illinois or just the old joke my mom told me when I complained about walking to school in winter.

It snowed around Thanksgiving and stayed there until March. Great weather, with the temperature around 0 degrees all the time and going down to -20 degrees sometimes. They even closed the school on a couple of days because the snow was too deep to travel in, on foot, by car, or any other convergence.

I don’t know what he’s talking about either.

Now the robin’s will hang around ‘till next February. Then it’ll snow on May 8 like it did last year. Somebody has their clock confused. How can it snow all during April and part of May and rain on Christmas Day? Even last Thanksgiving was better. I think I’ll continue this at the canteen.

This is the canteen! Well, you can’t see it, but it’s here nevertheless. Some students live here instead of in their rooms. That I would find intolerable, but everybody to his own taste.

Somebody has shown their good taste by playing “Greensleeves” on the jukebox. The haggard faces of so many fellow students makes me feel better.

LOL. Russ Loves Misery.

Listening to “Greensleeves” makes me think of peaceful moments of contentment and this leads me to think of you and to miss you. I am nostalgic.

Can you IMAGINE this playing in a college cafeteria? 

Merry Christmas, Sweetheart! This is the eve of St. Nicholas Day and the opening of the Christmas season, my favorite time of year. People seem to be so much friendlier. This may be only a state of mind on my part, but it still works, snow or no snow. I wish Dec. 17 would hurry up and get here. When the holiday season will be complete with you.

And here he shifts gears with little fanfare. 

“Homework” seems to be the evil of all college students’ lives.

Wooden pennies are the only thing anybody’s giving away. They’re holding on to wooden nickels in the hope of them being valuable someday. This is a society of eternally broke college students.

With one exception. I overheard a group of students talking about a friend who quit trying as far as studying is concerned. He just doesn’t care anymore. He’s going to quit school. He’s inherited a million dollars after taxes. Some people —

Don’t ask me what I would do with a million dollars. The list would cover volumes. That amount of money is inconceivable. It would buy 4 million hamburgers or 10 million cups of coffee, which is 5/8 million’s gallons, or 625,000 gallons, which weigh roughly 5,000,000 pounds or 2,500 tons. 625,000 gallons is conceivable. Shouldn’t be hard to make much coffee. Marketing would be the problems. 2,500 is a little hard to imagine and yet it is equivalent. Imagine washing 10 million cups. Horrors. Four million hamburgers is out of the question. Beef cattle would become scarce. Enough day-dreaming. I‘m going to be rich someday. (Ha!)

Fun fact from Wikipedia: On May 3, 1960, Ray Kroc assisted Christopher Boulos in opening a McDonald’s franchise in DeKalb, Illinois. By 1965, the McDonald’s at 805 W. Lincoln Highway sold over 4 million burgers and 1,000,000 pounds (450,000 kg) of fries. Boulos was the first Greek-American McDonald’s franchise operator.

Well, they’re going to close the canteen soon, and I have to be signing off. I’ll see you soon. Meanwhile, sweet dreams, sweetheart and take real good care of yourself.

Stay away from strangers and don’t buy the Brooklyn Bridge without checking the dealer’s references.

I miss you a little more every day. Christmas vacation better get moving along. I’ll try and put the right address on this letter.

Auf Wiedersehen.

Love and kisses,

Russ

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